Jokes

I Need a Pair of Glass

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.

Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

Manager asked Ghotay at an interview.Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?

Ghotay replied: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X. :D

After returning back from aforeign trip, Ghotay asked his wife,Do I look like a foreigner?

Wife: No! Why?

Ghotay: In india a people asked me Are you a foreigner? :p

 One tourist from U.S.A. asked Ghotay, “Any great man born in this village???”

Ghotay: no sir, only small Babies!!! =O

 Lecturer: write a note on Buddha JayanthiSo

 Ghotay writes, “Buddha was a great God, but I don’t know who is Jayanthi. :>)

Son: Father, why did you send me to school?

Father: Because, to make you a doctor.

Son: But the teacher always make me a cock.

A teacher asked the students to write “Blind Pig”

And one of the boy wrote, “Blind pg”

“Nonsense” said the teacher, “where is the (i) of pig ?”

“A blind Pig has no eye” replied the boy.

 Interviewer: just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?

Ghotay: Hahhahaha its simple. I will stop my imagination!!! :D

 Ghotay: My mobile bill how much?

Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status

Ghotay: Oye, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL…Mobile :p

 Ghotay: I think that girl is deaf.

Sheray: How do u know?

Ghotay: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new X_X

 Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!

Ghotay Wow!!! That’s an unbelievable exchange offer!!! :>))

 Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM and BUDHA?”

Ghotay: “All are born on government holidays…!!! :p Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?

Ghotay: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Bad news and very bad news

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

At Least

Doctor: I've got very bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's

Patient: Well, at least I don't have cancer

Bones

Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?

Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

Completely Blind

Jon and Dan are in a mental institution which has an annual contest that picks two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they answer correctly, they are released.

Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

Jon says, "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?"

"I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.

The doctor asks Dan, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"

Dan says, "I'd be half blind."

The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears?"

"I'd be completely blind."

"Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor.

"Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes."

Doctor and Machine

A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."

How much?

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?

Dentist: $100.00.

Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?

Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.

I don't see why not

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

first time

A man was flying in an aeroplane for first time, so he was very frightened. He had his seat near cockpit. To overcome his fear, he thought of talking to the pilot.

Man: I am a bit nervous coz i m flying in a plane for first time.

Pilot: Don’t worry! It’s my first time also!

JOKE 127

POLICE: Where do you live ?

Balotelli : With my parents

POLICE : Where does your parentslive ?

Balotelli : With me

POLICE: Where do you all live?…

Balotelli: Together

POLICE : Where is your house?

Balotelli : Next to my neighbours house

POLICE : Where is your neighbour’s house ?

Balotelli: If I tell you, you won’t believe me

POLICE: Tell me

Balotelli: Next to my house.

A Joke

One stupid Scientist wanted to find out the location of ears in the body of house fly. He took a fly and cried on it “Fly away”. The fly simply flew away. Then he took another housefly and tore off its both wings and again shouted as loudly as he could “fly away, fly away”. The housefly didn’t as its wings were torn off. Lastly, he concluded “The ears of a housefly are located in its wings”